i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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