Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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