that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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