White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize