Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
