can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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