Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
