so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
