in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
