There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this beer tastes like vomit already
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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