I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
