Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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