I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize