You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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