I just saw a hot homeless man
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
