Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
