five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
