So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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