It's Friday. Sex?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
