turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
