I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
