If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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