why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
