He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
