I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
