checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
