Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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