awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
