they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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