For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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