There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
