you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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