I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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