I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize