okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
