More tranny stories later!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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