i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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