...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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