when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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