if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My ass is underappreciated
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
