just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
