Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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