Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
