DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
