she was so not down for the gang bang
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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