It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
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