It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize