I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
