Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
