new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
