That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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