I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
