dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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