I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
