So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we're making bets on your personal life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
