spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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