Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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