Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
