So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
