I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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