it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
